I AM AFRAID
I AM AFRAID
Apple bit her lip and didn't answer right away, so Jayden threw up a few possibilities.
"Did you think I would run away after finding out you were pregnant? Oh, honey, you should kick me out if that's what you have in mind..." Jayden kissed her head and then looked her straight in the eyes when he confessed this. "I wouldn't even go anywhere if you kicked me out. It takes more effort than that, love."
However, when she heard this, Apple actually looked like she was about to cry. Her eyes were teary and her lips were trembling and this made Jayden panic, because Apple had never looked like this before. What was with her? Did something happen? Did she not want this child?
That last thought left Jayden speechless, he didn't know what kind of reaction he would give if that was what Apple wanted.
Of course, he couldn't force Apple to have a child if she didn't want to and he was well aware of that, so Jayden prepared himself for the worst that he might hear in a moment.
"What is it?" Jayden asked softly.
Jayden stared at Apple with a furrowed brow as tears fell onto the pillow she was sleeping on after rolling down her face.
Apple was not someone who would cry easily, therefore, if she was crying now, of course, it was because this was too much for her.
"Tell me, I promise we'll find a solution together," Jayden said coaxingly.
For a moment, Apple was silent, but then she whispered, she said something Jayden couldn't hear clearly, but then she raised her voice.
"I'm scared…" whispered Apple as Jayden brought his ear to her lips. Her voice sounded very hoarse, for she spoke between sobs.
"Afraid?" Jayden repeated, then he pulled away and looked at Apple's face. Yes, she was indeed frightened, the expression on her face said it all. "Tell me, what are you afraid of? We will face it together."
Apple bit her lip, she seemed hesitant to say this, but Jayden patiently waited until Apple felt more comfortable telling him what she was afraid of.
"I'm afraid, I can't be a good mother..." Apple finally said, she bit her lip so that her crying voice didn't escape this room and attract attention.
But, Apple didn't need to worry about that, because it was only the two of them in this room now.
Hearing her answer, Jayden felt a little relieved. At least, Apple didn't blatantly say that she didn't want this baby, because it would certainly be a serious matter for both of them later, but since Apple said that she wasn't ready for the child she was carrying, then at least that way, it wasn't that Apple didn't want this child at all.
Jayden smiled as he wiped the tears from the corners of Apple's eyes with his finger and then kissed her cheek gently, making her feel much calmer because Jayden wasn't putting pressure on her.
"You know…" Jayden grabbed Apple's hand and kissed the back of her hand. "I'm not sure if I can be a good father either."
Jayden then climbed into the bed beside her and immediately hugged Apple's body, pulling her closer so Apple could now snuggle against Jayden's chest, while the man gently stroked her back and hair, giving Apple the peace that she really needed right now.
"I don't know if I would be a good father," Jayden said. "I don't even think I've made a good fiancé for you."
Jayden could understand Apple's concerns, especially since this pregnancy was completely unplanned. They had no idea that Apple would get pregnant and within a few months, they would become father and mother.
But, of course, this didn't make Jayden a pessimist. It was only a matter of time and sooner or later, they would reach that point in their lives.
"I didn't make any preparations to be a father either, but we can both learn together, we'll face it together," Jayden said as he kissed Apple's forehead. "I won't leave you confused alone. If there is something confusing, then we will find a solution together, shouldn't that be the case?"
Apple didn't answer, she didn't say anything, but she snuggled closer to Jayden and buried her face into the man's chest, listening to the words he said and this really helped to calm her down.
"Whatever it is, we will face it together," Jayden assured Apple that she was not alone. "And I think we'd be cool parents, don't you think so too?"
Apple laughed softly when she heard it and it made Jayden feel much better to hear her laugh.
"Why do you think you can't be a great mother?" Jayden asked curiously. He asked this carefully.
Apple didn't answer the question right away, she was silent for a moment before she acknowledged this.
"Because I don't have a great mother figure I can look up to," Apple said, biting her lip and trying not to cry again when she remembered that. "I don't know how to be a good mother…"
Knowing that she was pregnant and thinking that in a few months she would be a mother, brought up unpleasant memories from the past and the one thing that Apple feared the most was that she would turn out to be like her mother.
And this was the first time for Jayden to hear how Apple's childhood was before Pyro took her from her mother because she had abandoned her.
Luckily, Pyro found out that he had a child with the woman and was able to track down the whereabouts of Apple, otherwise Apple's life would have been a lot more miserable compared to now.
"I'm afraid that I will become like my mother..." Apple said quietly.
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*Read my new book: KISSED BY THE DARK ALPHA*
Alpha Micah Donovan's second chance mate.