I'm jealous
I'm jealous
Since they left the house, they hadn't said a word to each other. And after thinking about what to say for a long time, he said that instead, hoping it would lighten the atmosphere.
Mia only nodded in response and looked at the window. Her mind was very preoccupied.
'Today is a really long day'. She said in her head.
Waking up late, hurrying to school, running away from Benjamin, coming home with Leo, making out with Leo, confessing to Leo again, and now she was going to meet her mother and the last person she ever wanted to see— Mr Timothy.
She wished the day would end so she could just go to bed and wake up tomorrow, pretending like everything was fine.
She turned to look at Leo. There was a question eating her up and she wanted to ask him, but she didn't know how he was going to react to the question.
"What is it?" He asked without turning to look at her. Through the corner of his eye, he could see she was looking at him and he knew Mia wouldn't just be staring at him for nothing. There was something in her mind she desperately wanted to let off.
''Nothing." She shook her head gently and turned to look out the window.
"There is something." He said calmly and se turned to look at him again.
"There... is something I am curious about." She said softly.
"What?" Leo asked quietly but was a bit uncomfortable with the way she sounded. What did she want to ask? What was she so curious about? He asked himself as he waited for her to talk.
"I am just curious… that lady the other day...Cherry."
Leo stiffened at the mention of her name and Mia noticed it.
What had prompted her to suddenly ask this question out of the blue? Leo asked himself as he shifted.
"You both dated right?" She asked and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat.
Cherry was a very pretty woman. Her looks, the way she dressed, Mia knew she would never measure up.
If she was a man, she would look back a couple of times if Cherry walked past her.
Knowing that Leo had been with someone like that, she kept wondering what he had seen in her to say he was attracted to her and he liked her.
"We did." He answered without looking at her.
Hearing him admit it made her feel even more jealous. If Cherry came back and said she wanted them to be together, would he still be interested in her when Cherry was there?
This wasn't about her self esteem right now. It was simply reality.
"So… what happened between you two?" She pressed on even though she knew she may not like the answer.
"Did any of you do something to upset the other? Or you both fell out of love and decided to end things on equal grounds?"
Who was she kidding? She knew it wasn't the latter. From the way Chloe had sounded, Cherry had been the one to hurt him.
She watched as his facial muscles turned rigid.
Leo didn't ever like to talk about this topic with others except his Psychologist. Ever since it happened two years ago, everyone who knew him had made sure not to mention it and even when they did, he wouldn't say a word to them.
But he knew he had to give her an answer.
"She cheated." He said as his car pulled up in the parking lot of Mr Timothy's building.
"So we broke up."
Mia felt her heart squeeze when she heard the pain in his voice as he spoke. And it wasn't because she felt bad for him. It was because he still felt hurt. He probably hadn't moved on.
Then did it mean there was still some kind of lingering feelings?
Leo turned to look at her face. She looked sad.
"How long did you date?" She asked again in a strained voice.
He turned off the ignition and sighed before answering honestly. "Four years. It was four years."
Mia sucked in air audibly. Four years?
Those four years, he had loved her, they had gone out together, she had probably spend a lot of nights inside his house and slept on his bed.
They had both kissed and most likely, did more than just kissing.
Mia felt hurt and heartbroken.
He hadn't been the one to cheat neither had he broken up with her because he no longer loved her. He had done so because she hurt him.
Leo looked at her and wondered what she was thinking right now. He didn't know why she decided to raise this topic now of all times.
"I understand." She said softly and tried to open the door but he held her hand and stopped her from opening the door.
"What is it that you understand? I need to know." He said quietly.
He knew how most girls acted and whenever they said they understood, they actually didn't understand a thing. It was only a ploy to end the topic so they could go and start thinking weird things inside their heads.
"Leo, we have to go in right now." She said calmly.
"Not until you tell me what it is that you understood."
Mia sighed and turned to face him properly.
"That you loved her a lot. That you dated her for long and broke up with her because she cheated and I can swear you still feel something for her. I guess it is probably the reason you began to have flings and not want to commit to any kind of relationship." She said before forcing out a smile which didn't reach her dull eyes.
"I told you, I do understand." She repeated and waited for him to let go of her hands but he didn't.
Majority of what she said was correct but he wasn't sure he would agree with her that he still felt something for Cherry.
"I don't. I admit I began having flings, but it was because I didn't want to think about what she did or anything else. And I have stopped doing that Mia. You know so."
"I don't." She shook her head immediately.
"I don't know Leo. I'm serious." She said in a small and quiet voice.
"I really haven't been with any other woman since we... look Mia..." He took in a deep breath and continued.
"Those things are all in the past."
"You probably think so. Look, you don't have to be bothered and think I am going to end up becoming clingy. I told you before that I do not want anything from you remember? We can just be friends. You shouldn't try to force yourself into loving someone. From your reaction when we started having this conversation, I realised you aren't also ready for any relationship..."
"Mia…"
"But Leo.." She continued.
"I am not Cherry. And I do not think I am the type to have flings." She said with sad eyes.
"This thing between us is not clearly defined and I do not think I want to continue. I'd like us to stop this whole... thing before it leads to something else. I am afraid I may like you more than I already do while you are still hung up on your ex and is trying to use me to forget about her. I don't want to be heartbroken at the end. I already feel this way right now, I don't know how I am going to feel when I end up liking you more."
"That's not it…" He quickly interrupted with a frustrated sigh but she cut in again.
"Maybe I am not making much sense right now and you think I am overreacting, but I hope you try to understand this from my part and put yourself in my shoes. Remember how angry you were when you thought I was only using you to get Benjamin to like me more? I think I also feel that way right now. And I am also jealous.. that you could date someone like her for years." She forced out a laugh and sniffed before looking out the window to see a taxi pull up.
The smile on her face disappeared when she saw her mother step down from the taxi.
Leo kept talking but she didn't hear a thing as her gaze was fixed on her mother.
"Mia.. are you listening to me?" He asked and followed her gaze to see a slim woman paying the taxi driver.
"Is that her? Your mother?" He asked.
He could guess it was her from the look on Mia's face.
"Hmm.. it's her." Mia answered before moving her gaze from her to look at Leo.
"We should head in now. Let's continue this conversation at home. Please?" He asked with pleading eyes.
Mia wanted to tell him there was no point talking about it again but she found herself nodding in agreement.