My Crazy Housemate

1Jeremy could hear the pain in her voice. Chloe was always strong, or at least, she liked to appear strong. But now, she let go of her ego and cried in front of him while telling him the words he believed she hadn't told anyone before. First love? He wouldn't deny that thpse words didn't make him feel a pang of jealousy. But he tried to imagine how he would live if Chloe died and worse of all, if she died because of him. He probably would go insane. So he understood her. Only those who could love genuinely, could understand her predicament.       1

"I understand. I understand you perfectly."      

"No you don't! You will never understand this. Have you ever made a mistake that made you want to kill yourself? A mistake that didn't only bring pain to you but also to others?" She asked in between tears.      

"Maybe I haven't made that kind of mistake before," He started after considering her question for a moment.  "But I know someone who has." He looked deeply into her eyes with his hands still holding her shoulders.      

"Everyone makes mistakes Chloe. How do I put this... it makes the world balanced."      

"I killed someone Jeremy! His mother is living in misery. You can't understand that. What it means to live with that guilt, what it means to be bullied and also looked down on because whenever I have something working for me, they all think 'it's because of her parents'. Everyone has been looking down on me from the very beginning. Including my parents. I'm not sure you understand any of that!"      

Jeremy realised this was more than just guilt now. She was opening up to him. Everything that had been bottled up inside of her for a long time. She was finally releasing it.     

When she finally stopped to catch her breath, he sighed and began to speak again.      

"My mother wasn't the best woman in the world." His smile was sad, but he was also trying to encourage her.      

"She was... what people would call morally..." He shook his head, trying to find the correct word. "Corrupt. I think?"      

Chloe listened to him attentively. This was the first time he was telling her more about his mother other than the fact that she had cancer and died.      

He let go of her shoulders, sighed again, before looking ahead as he narrated.      

"She fell in love with a married man and had me." He confessed, surprising Chloe.      

"A lot of people called her out for being shameless, called me names and said all sort of hurtful words."      

"She cried a lot. Apologizing to me every night for bringing me pain. But you know what she told me? She said she didn't regret having me. She only regretted the abusive words said to me."     

"She said she was ready to accept more insults, a thousand times more than what she received, but she was happy to have me." He smiled painfully.      

"Because of that, I could bear everything done to me. I tried to ignore everything even though it was difficult. I didn't have it easy Chloe. Growing up wasn't easy at all."  He turned to look at her.      

"Must... have been hard." Chloe managed to say.     

He laughed. It was a short laugh which didn't reach his eyes.      

"Actually, the worse part began when my mum fell for another married man. Then she had Ellie."      

This time, Chloe's eyes shone.      

"I know right? One would think she learnt her lessons the first time."     

"He also abandoned by mother. She cried everyday, every night. She hated herself. For falling for the wrong guys, for making mistakes, for bringing us pain."     

"But people make mistakes Chloe." He held her shoulder again.      

"There are some mistakes we have made that brought us good luck, why do we have to kill ourselves because of the ones which weren't good?"     

"I couldn't hate her for it." He shook his head, releasing her shoulders. "I never did blame her. She was still the best to me. And I loved her more because I knew she needed me more."      

Chloe wanted to ask him questions, but she didn't even know where to start from or what to ask. She never thought his family had been like that. Besides, he was so close with Ellie that people would think they were made out of the same pod. She wouldn't have guessed they didn't share the same father. "Williams?" Chloe asked, referring to their surname.      

"It's my mother's maiden name." He informed her. "She was called Susanna Williams."     

"What about... your fathers?" She asked, remembering he hadn't mentioned anything about an older male figure ever since they met.      

"Both are with their real families." He said with a smile.      

"Can you stop smiling even when you are really down?" She asked quietly.      

Jeremy laughed. "I don't like people seeing me sad."      

Chloe decided to ignore that. "Did your fathers try to reach out?" She asked.     

He noticed she no longer looked as awful as she looked earlier, she was simply curious.      

"Well, at least mine did. At first." He said, remembering the past.      

"I got into the university, thanks to him, even though I wasn't interested in accepting favours from him. It was my mother's wish before she died. She wanted me to."      

"Then I guess you have a rich father? Just anyone cannot pull the strings he pulled to get you into our school."      

"Well," Jeremy stopped talking and started the car. It became clear to Chloe that she didn't want to talk about him.     

"Since your mother died... did your father try to... I don't know..." She shrugged. "It's fine if you do not want to talk about it." She added immediately.      

"Be there for me?" Jeremy asked, completing her question.      

"Let's say, he wanted to be a good father at one point, wanted me to move into his house. But... he wanted just me. My mother made us promise her before she died that we would follow if our father's came for us. Apparently, she wasn't thinking about anything else but our future. She didn't think about what it would mean for Ellie and I. So when the man she had me with said he wanted just me, I knew then that not all dying wishes were meant to be respected."      

"You are a good brother." Chloe said. "And a good person in general." She added.     

They both stared at each other for a while before she slowly spread her arms wide.     

"What?" He asked in confusion.      

"I guess you need a hug? Hurry up before I change me mind." She said sternly.      

He looked at her in surprise before skeptically joining the embrace.      

"Wow!" He whispered with his eyes close.      

"It's so nice hugging you. I can't believe I hugged your brother before you." He complained.      

"What?"     

"Nothing." He said with a sheepish smile and held her tightly to his body.      

"It's going to be fine Chloe, I promise I'll protect you."      

Maybe it hadn't been a bad idea bringing him along after all. Chloe thought as her lips curved slightly.      

"Thank you Jeremy." She said for the first time, sincerely.      

"And I always knew you weren't smart enough to get a scholarship to study in our school." She said lightly, making him chuckle. His contagious laughter made her begin to laugh as well. And just like that...     

She had hope that just maybe, everything would be okay eventually.